Sorry for being incommunicado all week. Except for the scheduled Words Worth Remembering on Wednesday I didn't post at all.
Why you ask?
Well, I was just trying to survive the week!
What can I say other than the honeymoon is over?
It was inevitable and, like most years, hit me upside the head with no warning.
Things were going along swimmingly with students learning routines, practicing meeting expectations etc. etc. etc.
There are students who are constantly interrupting and never seem to stop talking.
There are students doing cartwheels across the classroom (literally!)
There are students rolling around on the floor during story.
There are students hitting and pushing.
And there is a teacher waking up at 4 a.m. worrying about these students.
A teacher who has, yet again, forgotten to expect this.
You'd think in my 20th year of teaching I'd remember by now, wouldn't you?
It is that time in September when the newness has worn off. The fear of the new class/grade/teacher has worn off. And the pushing the boundaries of expectations begins.
I spent most of the week wishing it was 3 o'clock already! And coming home to a very nice glass (or two) of my favourite red wine (Shiraz if you are wondering!!!) each night before falling exhausted into bed, only to wake in the middle of the night worrying about what to do to help the little ones who are clearly going to be my button pushers and praying for patience, patience, patience.
I could hear myself saying certain students names over and over in frustration as the week went on. Wanting them to change their behaviour but going about it all wrong.
There are times when it is hard to see the forest for the trees. September is like that a lot. I am trying to get to know 24 new young souls and figure out what is the best thing for each of them. And, if I'm going to be honest, some of those young souls are easier to reach than others. Sometimes, I try my best and still know it isn't enough. Those are the ones that wake me up at night.
And, then, as it usually happens, the universe gave me what I needed. I logged on to pinterest and what did I see?
And, I literally sighed and then thanked the universe for the reminder.
I have spent the weekend getting my head back on straight. Getting myself back into a place of love and out of that place of frustration. Because I know, deep in my heart, I am never given more than I can handle. And that love is where it needs to be.
Love is more important than learning the alphabet. More important than getting the writing done. More important than math facts, running laps or any of the things we expect of young children in school.
For, without love, there is nothing.
If a child does not feel love, they can not learn to their full potential. They have to know that I love them, believe in them, want what is best for them. And they have to learn to trust me.
So, I am taking a step back and slowing things back down. The math facts will come. The reading will come. The writing in sentences using punctuation will come. But it won't come in a positive way until we spend the time needed to build our community on a foundation of love.
This week I have one goal and one goal only. To give love at all times. To shower those ones I worry about already with my love and support. To let them know that I love them no matter what choices they make. To just love.